Show me where it hurts

The child is grown
The dream is gone
I have become comfortably numb

Just a few more swipes, I say to myself, as the hours escape through my headphones and around my insomniac doomscrolling silence. Oh look, death, destruction, and then soft kitties cuddling and purring, another delicious recipe that I will never cook, one more historical factoid about the Tower of London, more death and despair, a sweet lady with sassy inspirational rants, destruction and despair, a comedian who can speak ancient Latin, death, slaughter, death. The morning rises outside the window, he still snores happily in dreamland, and I get ready to pretend to be asleep when the alarm rings.

I will smile and kiss him good morning, nothing to see here, nothing to tell, did you sleep well, my love? Morning coffee, spicy jokes, sometimes a toast, let the day start. It’s all the same, continuously the same.

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Head: LOGO Noelle Head

A lovely new head by LOGO that came out during the holiday season. It comes with several lovely skins for body and face, BOM and EvoX compatible, and includes animations and a lot of nice customization options.

Ear jewelry: [Drunken Brokkr] Vaengrinn ear jewelry

Gorgeous original mesh crafted with love by the blacksmiths of the gods (yes, that is my store, shameless promo and all that). Compatible with Lelutka EvoX ears, Andore Ears for EvoX, and Swallow Gauged Ears for EvoX, plus a couple of unrigged versions. The fatpack includes cool exclusive multichrome colours.

Chest tattoo: VENGE – BOM – ‘Thanatos’ Neck Tattoo

This is a very versatile tattoo, perfect for your best punk/rock or Goth fantasy, available in different opacity levels, and you can tint them and stack them up for cool combinations. It fits well on different chests of bodies and genders, so give it a whirl.

Nails: [Stargazer] Ultimate Bento Nails Set – Sprocket Glam

Compatible with Maitreya, Legacy, Kupra & Kups, Reborn, and Slink. Includes a HUD with 50 gorgeous colours.

✽ڿڰۣ— ALSO ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Body: Maitreya Lara Mesh Body + [V-Tech] Boi Chest Mod
Ears: ANDORE – * ears L.E.X * – FEMALE (Human Gauged)
Skin: a.b – Imani Mali – BOM Evo X
Eyes: AG. Carol Eyes Pack
Hair: CAMO – Amelia F-Locs – FATPACK
Dress: Glam Dress Karla TwoSided
Cigarette: .09 [ kunst ] – Cigarette #1 [hand) (Smokers Gacha)
Pose: FOXCITY. City Life Bento Pose Set + smartphone prop
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth – Crescent Room

Quote: “Comfortably numb”, song by Pink Floyd
Prose by me

Dreamlike

I didn’t hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don’t want to move a thing
It might change my memory

I’m not sure if I’m delighted or terrified. Your easy smile, your beautiful eyes, your inviting arms all seem like parts of a dream, like that fleeting moment of the morning when your mind tries desperately to grasp little shreds of dream before you forget them forever. But I’m still here, so it must be real…

✽ڿڰۣ— ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Selia – Walnut (NEW Group Gift for January)
Head: LeLUTKA Kaya Head (Evo X version)
Body: Maitreya Lara Mesh Body
Eyes: IKON Triumph Eyes – Hazel
Hair: TRUTH Shadow – Fatpack

Quote: “Here with me”, song by Dido
Prose by me

Can’t move on

I step off the train
I’m walking down your street again
And past your door, but you don’t live there anymore
It’s years since you’ve been there
And now you’ve disappeared somewhere, like outer space
You’ve found some better place

Is it you I miss, or just who I was when you were around? Young, daring, ready to take my future by storm, one challenge at a time, a true warrior in a lab coat. I see me, her, the girl I was, so strong, so bright, maybe too smart for her own good, always two steps ahead of everyone, like that old song used to say.

She seems half a stranger by now, like a false memory that I created from one of my fiction books… and yet, when some cheesy tune from the 90’s takes my mind by assault, I still remember. I always remember.

And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Emilia – Coconut (NEW at Itty Bitty Titty Committee: Sep 13th-30th)
*Note: lipstick and moles/freckles are part of the skin

✽ڿڰۣ— ALSO ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Head: LeLUTKA Ryn Head (EVO X version)
Body: Maitreya Lara Mesh Body + [V-Tech] Boi Chest Mod
Eyes: Paradise Eyes by Madame Noir
Hair: bonbon – reiko hair pack – group gift
Top: AsteroidBox. Esme Shirt – FLF Exclusive Edition
Background: FOXCITY. Photo Booth – City Life @Backdrop City – Panorama Scenes

Quotes: “Missing”, by Everything but the Girl

Don’t care

I’m not your friend
Or anything, damn
You think that you’re the man
I think, therefore, I am

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Piercing: [Drunken Brokkr] Halda-a Dimples & Labret Piercing
Pose: Poseidon – Sukeban Series

✽ڿڰۣ— ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Head: LeLUTKA River Head
Body: Maitreya Lara Mesh Body + Flat Chest Addon
Skin: amara beauty – Claudia Olive
Tattoo: PMS – Till Death Do Us Part Tattoo
Hair: [Yomi] Vamp Hair – Group Gift
Eyes: IKON Triumph Eyes – Storm
Top: BOYS TO THE BONE strano sweater – krampus
Pants: AsteroidBox. Riley Outfit – Worn
Choker: [Yomi] D-Ring Choker – Group Gift
Nails: [ Conviction ] The Claws – Bruja
Rings: (Yummy) Gothic Horror Ring Collection
Mate: MOVEMENT – Chimarrao drink

Quote: “Therefore I am”, song by Billie Eilish

Expatriate

“Loco, loco, loco…
Cuando anochezca en tu porteña soledad
Por la ribera de tu sábana vendré
Con un poema y un trombón
A desvelarte el corazón…”

“Crazy, crazy, crazy…
When night falls in your Buenos Aires solitude
I’ll come by the shores of your sheets
With a poem and a trombone
To keep your heart awake…”

Yesterday, the 9th of July, was the anniversary of Argentinian Independence Day. My dad called, told me he was having mates, and I wondered about my old mate gourd, probably crammed in some kitchen cabinet, just as forgotten as that patriotic date.

I don’t know if I’m still Argentinian, after all these years away. My accent faded into this multi-kulti mixture that has become my life. My ritualistic mate was replaced by espresso, my scandalously sweet dulce de leche by nutella. And yet, when Piazzolla’s notes pierce my German silence, the strings of my heart still mourn for that homeland that no longer exists, and was once home.

“Loco, loco, loco…
Como un acróbada demente saltaré
Sobre el abismo de tu escote hasta sentir
Que enloquecí tu corazón de libertad
Ya vas a ver…“

“Crazy, crazy, crazy…
Like a demented acrobat I will jump
On the abyss of your cleavage until I feel
That I turned your heart mad with freedom
You will see…“

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Creature – Caramel (NEW at eBento: July 10th – 31st)

✽ڿڰۣ— ALSO ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face W001 – Mocap
Body: Maitreya Lara Mesh Body
Hair: Magika – Disarray
Outfit: Blueberry mix-and-match with ISON pants
Mate: :::ChicChica::: Mate Set

Quotes: “Balada para un loco”, tango by Astor Piazzolla & Horacio Ferrer
Prose by me

No me sonrojo

Puede que hayas nacido
en la cara buena del mundo
Yo nací en la cara mala
llevo la marca del lado oscuro
y no me sonrojo
si te digo que te quiero

You may have been born
on the good side of the world
I was born on the bad side
I carry the mark of the dark side
and I don’t blush
if I tell you that I love you

This was the first song I ever heard by the Spanish band Jarabe de Palo, many years ago. I felt the need to record it, play it and replay it, find the album and own it. I can recall endless afternoons loudly and passionately singing along (poor neighbors) these simple, sweet songs, sometimes alone, sometimes with my brother (his favorite song was La Flaca).

Today, the lead singer has moved on to a different stage, after a long battle with cancer. Thank you, Pau. Thank you for all that youth filled with your music, for all those nights when your voice lulled me to sleep or kept me company while I studied. Farewell.

Y que me dejes o te deje
eso ya no me da miedo

and that you leave or I leave
that doesn’t scare me anymore

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Mensje – Oak (NEW from last round of Sense, soon at 7 Deadly S{k}ins)
Dress: !Silvan Moon Designs! Esmeralda Dress Set-Soft White (NEW at We Love RP: June 4th-30th)
Wagon: {RoawenWood} Zindelo Travelers Wagon (NEW from the Fantasy Faire 2020, now at RoawenWood)

✽ڿڰۣ— ALSO ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Head: [AK Advanced] – Bento Head V2.6 #Limited Edition
Eyes: IKON Triumph Eyes – Hazel
Body: Maitreya Lara Mesh Body
Hair: F&M Oblivion * Esmeralda + Sintiklia – Mesh bases 2,6
Background:
{RoawenWood} Wintervale Campfire
“Moon_Sha” Old Well – Normal (NEW at We Love RP: May 4th-31st)
{RoawenWood} Fairly There Seasonal Trees

Quotes: “El lado oscuro”, song by Jarabe de Palo

Bitter fruit

Southern trees bearing strange fruit
Blood on the leaves and blood at the roots
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees

The glorious voice of Billie Holliday sang this gut-wrenhcing song for the first time in 1939. There was passionate anguish in the notes and defiant desolation in the lyrics. She sang for all those deaths that went unnoticed and unpunished, for all those broken bodies, for all those grieving mothers, for all those voices forever silenced.

And more than 80 years later, this is where we are.
#BlackLivesMatter

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck
For the sun to rot, for the leaves to drop
Here is a strange and bitter crop

Song: “Strange fruit”, by Billie Holiday
Prose by me

In your nightmare

Even on the darkest night when empty promise means empty hand
And soldiers coming home like shadows turning red
When the lights of hope are fading quickly then look to me
I’ll be your homing angel, I’ll be in your head

All around us the noise becomes unbearable, with tones of apocalyptic dread, fueled by click-baity urgency in every screen, every page, every post. The hordes of the desperate, ransacking shelves and preparing for disaster. The pleading masses of the sensible, with all sorts of advice and spiraling information. The infamous army of the ruthless, trying to profit their own personal riches or political goals. And in the middle of all that, just us, trying to keep it together, trying to survive.

Because you’re lonely in your nightmare let me in
And it’s barren in your garden let me in
Because there’s heat beneath your winter let me in

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Meena – Coconut (NEW at Dubai Event: Mar. 20th – Apr. 10th)
Body skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – NEW Body Skins – Coconut (NEW at Skin Fair: Mar. 13th-29th)
Addons: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Neck match* + Smaller boobs + Moles + Legacy hands/feet fit (NEW at Skin Fair: Mar. 13th-29th)
*Neck match layer allows the new 2020 skins to be used with faces released before.

✽ڿڰۣ— ALSO ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face W001 – Mocap
Body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f)
Tears: Just Magnetized – Crybaby – set 01 for OMEGA
Eyes: A R T E – Music Lover Eyes (NEW at The Liaison Collaborative: Mar. 3rd-26th)
Hair: Magika – Disarray / Hairbase: Just Magnetized – Essential Hairbase – set 08
Outfit: Blueberry – Can’t Relate Set – Mega Pack
Backdrop: ANTINATURAL[+] Post-Human / Void Bathroom
Stuff: S&P Toiletpaper – never out of stock / S2 Hand Sanitizer Dispensers

Quotes: “Lonely in your nightmare”, song by Duran Duran
Prose by me

Please stay safe. Don’t freak out and try not to listen to the noise and the fake news.
Please find trust-worthy information here:
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prepare/prevention.html
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/
https://www.bundesregierung.de/breg-de/themen/coronavirus/ausbreitung-coronavirus-1716188
https://www.who.int/es/health-topics/coronavirus

Purple lullaby

In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

Surprise me, show me again what you can do, dazzle me with your shapes and the colorful dreams glistening on your skin. Surprise my skeptic eyes, weary of your short-lived legacy, prove me wrong and seduce me, win me over and conquer me. Bring me to  your fantasy, just try again…

If you need to leave the world you live in
Lay your head down and stay a while
Though you may not remember dreaming
Something waits for you to breathe again

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Breana – Fudge (NEW at Salon 52: Feb. 16th – Mar. 8th)
Outfit: [Stargazer Creations] Lacette Gacha – Black (NEW at Imaginarium: Mar. 1st – 30th)
Nails: [Stargazer Creations] Marbled Nails – Bento
Shine: [Stargazer Creations] Body Shine Materials – Holo Crystal

✽ڿڰۣ— ALSO ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Classic Face W001 – Mocap
Body: [LEGACY] Meshbody (f)
Make up: Izzie’s – Festival Eye Glitter (NEW at The Liaison Collaborative: Mar. 3rd-26th)
Eyes: A R T E – Music Lover Eyes (NEW at The Liaison Collaborative: Mar. 3rd-26th)
Hair: [KoKoLoReS] Hair Kitten (NEW at The Liaison Collaborative: Mar. 3rd-26th)
Pasties: !dM deviousMind “MataHari” DancerJewels **FLOWER** (BOX #4)
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth – God Is A Woman
Poses: by FOXCITY

Quotes: “Imaginary”, song by Evanescence
Prose by me

What’s left of yesterday

If I smile and don’t believe
Soon I know I’ll wake from this dream
Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken
Hello, I’m the lie living for you so you can hide
Don’t cry

I stumbled outside, the fresh cold air punched my senses and I took a deep breath… of my cigarette. The noise and roaring laughter, not sure prompted by what, stayed behind the door. I take two steps, down the stairs, and reality seems to fade away with the smoke that I exhale. Reality feels like a dream, one of those hYpEr-ReAlIsTiC dreams that haunt your day even after you wake up, and at the same time, there’s something bizarre in the air that makes you know that it’s a dream. A blurry light through the window invites me to go back inside, to drown these thoughts into more booze and tell another dirty joke.

Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping
Hello, I’m still here
All that’s left of yesterday

✽ڿڰۣ— FEATURING ڿڰۣ—✽

Skin: 7 Deadly S{k}ins – Biork – Maple (SATURDAY SALE TODAY at 7 Deadly S{k}ins)

✽ڿڰۣ— ALSO ROCKING ڿڰۣ—✽
Head: GENUS Project – Genus Head – Baby Face W001 – Mocap
Body: Maitreya Lara Mesh Body
Make up: #A – seras shadows – nude edition
Eyes: !Musa! Malachite Eyes
Hair: TRUTH Eternity – Fatpack (group gift)
Outfit: ::GB:: Loose Jersey / NEO male & female
Accessory: Astralia – Yoga earphones
Backdrop: Paparazzi – Slum Riverside – BACKDROP – classic (Underground Scenes @Backdrop City)

Quotes: “Hello”, song by Evanescence
Prose by me